A Prequel to the Oscars

Every year my husband and I take the Oscars very seriously.  We hardly go to a movie all year long, but as soon as the Oscar nominations come out, we make in depth plans to view as many of the nominated films as possible.  We review which movie got the most nods and start with them.  Then we watch the movies we think we'll actually like, which is usually not many.  Lastly, we choose the movies that we really have no interest in, but got enough nominations that we feel we must see it to be fair in casting our ballots.

Oh, we cast ballots alright.  We are not members of the Academy (yet) so our ballots don't count, but they count to us.  We usually make some sort of small wager that will benefit the winner and the loser as well as provide bragging rights.

Over the years of viewing movies that Oscar feels are worthy of the award I've noticed a pattern.  Every once in a while the pattern is broken and an unusual pick wins something, but if movies were horses and the Oscars were a horse race there would be some definite odds.  Actually, I think Vegas does have betting on the Oscars with actual odds, but I haven't looked that up - yet.

Best Picture:

• Must be over two hours long.  The longer the better.  If it's so long it needs an intermission, it's a shoe in for best picture.
• It must be about a serious subject.  Comedies are completely out.  Any level of humor is suspect but acceptable if it's dark humor.
• It must be rated R.  Every so often a PG-13 sneaks in, but is doomed to lose.  Apparently, life is an R and PG-13 is too sweet.  PG is the death knell for an Oscar.  It won't even be considered, unless its animated.

Best Actor:

• Must be well known, but not too well known.  If a male actor is extremely famous and is nominated he will lose to the relative unknown.  The voters of the academy want us to believe that they believe in underdogs. 
• Must not have been previously a comedic actor.  Comedy is a sign of weakness.
• Must not portray a conservative character.  The academy also want us to believe that conservative men are not worthy of Oscar. 

Best Actress:

• Contrary to their male counterparts, a female lead needs to have principals, however warped, to be worthy of Oscar.  Even in the liberal world of Hollywood a woman is still held to a different set of standards.
• Does not need to be naked in the film, but it helps.  Another stereotype.  Yikes!
• If Meryl Streep is up for best actress, she will win.

Do I sound bitter?  As much as the system is flawed, it represents the bigger flawed system of life in general.  Meanwhile, the movies are a great form of story telling.  I love hearing a good story and writing a good story, so I truly appreciate seeing a good story.  Be it rated R or G a great film is a great story.  It takes me away from myself, compels me to examine myself or compels me to think about others in a new way.