Sprinkles Are For Winners

Life is full of wins and losses.  When I was growing up it was very clear who was a winner and who was not.  Organized sports was not the norm.  Parks and Recreation Departments had one job:  keep the stoners and gangs out of the park.  They were usually not successful.  So we played in the street, in the back yard and on the railroad tracks.  We played marathon games of whiffle ball, kick ball and cops and robbers.  We played to win and to gloat.  We either sent our best friends home crying and furious or we went home feeling the same way.  The next day we were all best friends again and we played the same game.

Raising my own children in the 1990s saw the advent of the premise that everyone's a winner.  Due to our busy, both parent working lives Parks and Recreation met our demands to entertain our children by morphing into the activity café where we chose what kind of fun our children will have based on the programs they offered.  We structured our children's free time to include valuable learning experiences and skill building programs instead of just hanging out in the back yard playing kickball. 

Being the soccer fans that we were, we indoctrinated our children into the world of soccer programs.  Jerseys, boots (the official word for soccer cleats.  DO NOT use the word "cleats") and shin guards.  Adorable five year olds on the field all huddled around the soccer ball like a swarm of bees.  Then there was always the one child who was on the other side of the field picking dandelions, usually my kid.  The interesting thing about these soccer leagues was that no score was ever officially tracked, though all the parents tracked it, and at the end of the season everyone got the same trophy.  Everyone was a winner.  I guess this had its merits.  It gave our children confidence to participate and not get discouraged.  It reinforced a positive self image.  But it also didn't teach them about real life.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.  If you are not good at something you should really find something else to do.  You can and will be crushed by your competition at some point.  It's okay to lose.  It's okay to win.

There's a commercial on TV lately where Flo, the insurance lady we all love to hate, is giving a pep talk to a new insurance guy.  She assures him that his mistakes are temporary and he will learn and offers to take him for ice cream.  "With sprinkles?" he asks excited at the prospect of the special treat.  "Sprinkles are for winners."  She sadly informs him.  A victory in life, much like a victory in sports, is only sweet when you know the taste of defeat.  Save the sprinkles for your victories.