Airport Observations

Going to the airport to catch a flight is always an event.  Whether it be for vacation, business, family visits there is the anticipation that the only thing that stands between you and your destination is a harrowing drive to the airport, the humbling walk of shame through security, the waiting to board your plane, which is usually late due to many reasons, some of which are stupid, some of which are just scary enough that you question whether this plane you are about to get on should really even take off.

During this time of anticipation one has plenty of time to make some observations if you aren't so nervous about flying that you are busy making a cocktail of Xanax and whiskey at the airport bar to get up enough nerve to get on the plane.  Other than the slight motion sickness I like actually being on the plane so I enjoy making observations during my 2 hour lead time since I arrive obsessively early for every flight I take.

Observation #1:  Everyone in the airport awoke that day knowing they were going to fly.  So they chose clothes to wear for this event.  Some people still think that flying is an elite privilege so they dress up like they are going to a dinner dance, suits, high heels, full make up, enough perfume to choke the entire passenger list.  Yes, they look great, but by the time they get to the gate they are limping, their hair do is hanging to one side and they usually have a run in their stockings.  And the ladies look even worse!

Observation #2:  Is it really a good idea to have CNN running on the TVs the entire time?  On a recent flight I decided to watch the TV for awhile and the entire time CNN was covering terrorist acts across the world and how airports will have to step up security as they remain major targets.  Nice.  This is what I want to hear before getting on a plane.  I immediately start profiling the other passengers to decide who might have a bomb strapped to their waist.

Observation #3:  People traveling with children try so hard to keep them busy and happy while waiting for the plane that when they get them strapped in on the plane, the kid is trying to figure out why this isn't fun anymore and starts whining.  I think parents should strap the kids into waiting room seats and make them not move and not talk, so sitting on the airplane will seem like a release from captivity.  Just a thought.

Air travel has become a necessary evil in today's society of worldwide business, spread out families and all the great vacation spots being so dang far away.  If anyone can come up with a better way to handle this situation, let me know.  Or better yet, write a book.  You'll make millions!