Monday, January 5, 2015

An Unexpected Sadness

Another wake.  Another friend who has lost a parent.  Nobody told me that when I turned 50 I should start stocking up on get well and sympathy cards.  Both of my parents have passed away, so I feel a kinship with all of my friends as their parents, one by one, get to that age where time is just not on their side anymore.  "It is a part of life" I tell myself.  "They lived a long time," they're better off now."  All of these things are true, but what's also true is as the generation before me moves on, I can't be a child anymore.  Mom's pies and dad's jokes are gone.  Having someone to call who will just say "it will be alright" is gone.  I am now that "go to" person.

So, I teach my sons how to make my famous chocolate chip cookies, and I buy my future daughter-in-law things I wish I had when I started out as a young bride.  I freely give unsolicited advice on loving well and what a woman wants from her husband.  I am suddenly way too concerned about the weather forecast and have a favorite weatherman.  I even sneak a peak at Wheel of Fortune now and again.  I haven't started watching Law and Order reruns yet.  But it's only a matter of time.

I become to my adult children who our mothers were to us.  Strong, opinionated, meddling, doting, loving.  It's an unexpected joy and an unexpected sadness.  I think I'll see what movie is on the Hallmark channel. . . .

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